December 07th, 2016

It seems like I am always in and out of a docotrs office.  Probably because I am.  In the past month or so I have had 6 doctor visits, 2 ultra sounds and blood draws at 2 different labs.  I usually have at least one of my little ones with me which is cool for them I guess as the nurses all know them so they get treats at most visits.   If we have multiple appoinmtents in a day I try to reward us all with ice cream or frozen yogurt.  For me it all sucks.  I truly am at this moment just tired of it all.  I am tired of the anxiety, tired of the testing, tired of the What ifs.  I know this moment will pass which gives me light at the end of the tunnel.  It is when I feel like this that I am reminded of a conversation I had with a minister during a visit we had during one of my chemotherapy appointments.  I remember him explaining how when people go through health traumas like I was going through that sometimes they will look to the heavens asking why?  He told me something then that has stuck with me...He said "Sometimes our bodies just fail us."  It was a very easy concept to understand however it is a very tough concept to live with sometimes.  Anyways as my mom and Grandma have always said...This too shall pass.